My Idea for NHL Realignment: be prepared for more moves
I have a confession to make. I like hockey.
This doesn't make any sense if you know me. I don't have many/any friends who do like hockey, and I'm not athletic. I don't even like any other sport. That said, as a man with Canadian heritage, I've been around hockey the fandom of hockey all of my life, even if going to an NHL game or regularly watching a specific team on TV was something I could rarely do.
So when I follow hockey, I do so through newspapers and the Internet. One story that I have been following closely is divisional realignment as a result of the relocation of the Atlanta Thrashers to Winnipeg.
There have been hundreds if not thousands of ideas spread around the internet regarding realignment of the NHL as a result of this event, all of them flawed and full of potholes that would prevent them from being easy sells in the real NHL.
I'm not going to go over every plan here (there are too many!), but I will say that they all seem to ignore the elephant in the room, namely that there will be another move in the next few years. It will probably be the Phoenix Coyotes, but it could also be any number of other teams.
A key problem is that any realignment which preserves the current six-division format will could be broken by these future moves because they will require key rivalries (think Montreal-Boston or the NYC trio) to be broken up.
Abby’s idea for a sport: Bubbleball
Anyone who knows Abby knows she has a vivid imagination that works in ways no normal person can pretend to understand. Normally, when she thinks strange things up, I let it pass, but this idea was so strange that I had to chronicle it.
Abby and I were at a Liga 3 soccer game in our Romanian hometown of Fieni. The home team was down 3 - nil. As she watched, probably bored, she suddenly blurt out:
"There needs to be a sport with hamster balls."
I couldn't just let her say that without explanation.
The conversation that ensued became the codification of the rules of Bubbleball.
You have two teams of five, and all of the players are encased in human-sized hamster balls. Lucky for us, such equipment has already been invented. It's called a zorb, and it's primarily for rolling down hills in. Makes my stomach feel great to think about it.
Click to read about Zorbing at wikipedia
Anyway, Bubbleball is played on a field twice as long and wide as a soccer field (I tried to get her to make it the same as a soccer field so the resources necessary to play it would already exist worldwide, but she said, "This is my imaginary sport!"). At either end of the field is a hole 3 meters wide and 2 meters deep. The field would have walls around it, like a hockey rink, so the ball would never go out of bounds.
The goal is to get a ball measuring 2.5 meters in diameter into the holes. The ball is weighted down so that it is exactly 20 kilos (Abby was insistent on this number) so it won't just go flying around. Getting the ball into the hole is worth 2 points. If a member of your team accidentally falls into a hole (they'll be fine. They're in a bubble), they would need to be pulled out with a crane, causing the game to be delayed. To discourage this, falling in the hole will cause your team to lose 1 point. Negative scores can exist.
Edit: forgot to mention that there are no periods in Bubbleball. The game is played without interruptions for 60 minutes, except of course when a goal is scored or a player falls into the goal.
The way I see this game being played is like rugby without passing, human strength being the only way to move the ball. Teams would have to push together, overcoming the strength of the opposing team to get the ball anywhere. Things would get most interesting around the goal itself (as in any sport, I suppose). Defending players would probably be pushed into the goal more often than the ball since they would be on the goal-side of the ball, trying to keep it out of the hole.
Abby also thought up a variation of this which we are calling "Courantball." It's even more bizarre.
Basically, you start with the same setup as Bubbleball with a few key differences. First, the ball is significantly lighter, such that it can bounce up and above the players when struck. Second (and this is key here), the whole field is covered in irrigation tubing blowing compressed air up so that the ball is levitated, never really touching the ground.
Instead of holes at the far ends of the field, you have a goal about two meters wide above the ground, lets say in roughly the same spot as the field goal posts in an American football field. Fans in the goal "suck" the ball into the goal if it gets too close.
I see this game as more fluid than Bubbleball, and brute strength wouldn't be as important.
One cool idea that came out of this conversation is that it could be used in an English class. Get your kids to just think up a game with weird equipment or rules, then write them down. I think it would be great for the more sporty classes out there.